Sometimes, the best practices are the ones that suck.

Today’s surya namaskar practice was difficult. Difficult to get to and difficult to do. It’s currently a once a week 7:30am practice in studio, so only a 10 minute drive from home. It’s also a by donation drop in, so there is always a chance I’ll be there by myself.

I’ve learned that I greatly benefit from body doubling in my movement practice. What is body doubling?

”Body doubling is a technique where someone works alongside you, either in person or virtually, to enhance focus and motivation, especially helpful for neurodivergent individuals like those with ADHD. The body double's presence provides a sense of accountability and can reduce distractions, making it easier to start and complete tasks.”

I also have fibromyalgia and live with chronic pain. These last few weeks have had their challenges and my pain levels have been bouncing all over the place, affecting my sleep, moods, brain fog, and ability to move comfortably. I’ve spent more time on the couch than off, have neglected my moving practice, and have been cancelling classes.

But today I hauled my ass out of bed, doused myself with coffee, and made a promise to be kind and gentle with myself. I made no commitment to the number of rounds I would practice, but agreed to listen to my body and do what was manageable and beneficial for me, today. I also planned to swap out eight-limbed pose and cobra for cow/cat. And move slowly.

As luck would have it, I was alone today, so I lost the benefit of body doubling. I almost walked away. I considered a Yoga Nidra practice instead. I considered just sitting and crying (also a great practice!)

Instead, I set up my mat and symbolically locked the studio door. I started slow. I cringed. I modified, I focused on my breath. I chanted the mantras. I stayed present in the movements and watched for signs that I was overdoing things. I was kinda glad I was alone.

About round 3 my toes started to drag. Round 4 my frozen shoulder started having opinions on my movement. But my heart rate was in normal range and my breath was steady.

At round 6 I paused and checked in with my body and my practice. I felt ok (not great) and so decided this was a good place to stop. (I am often guilty of pushing too far and then having to take extra recuperation time.) I moved into savasana and then sat for a 10 minute meditation. I finished with 3 rounds of Om Asatoma.

And it was hard. And it sucked. And now that I am back on the couch for a bit, I think I enjoyed every moment of it … Maybe.